Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Why did my mother make you get naked?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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