Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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