The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize