Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize