Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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