32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
