i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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