How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
