I am spending my child support on dildos
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
