I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
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