Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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