I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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