..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I deserve this hangover.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
