She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
