I got chris browned last night
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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