I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
