but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
