I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
