what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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