Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize