I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You smell like stripper and shame
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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