It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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