there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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