Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
