Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
His hands were made for my vagina.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
