Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
love makes seman taste better
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
