Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
