i just google imaged poop.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
