Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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