Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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