Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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