How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
