I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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