I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
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I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
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Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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