i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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