I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
