I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize