the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
