my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
