she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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