At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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