CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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