You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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