I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
