nutella sex= disaster
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
