if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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