i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Two words: blizzard sex
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