remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just tell him i said nine months
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
