Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
