I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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