For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
