just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
