one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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