Betty ford says i'm here all night
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize