no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
