I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize