He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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