So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize