Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize