buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
